Pre-Puckersnipe

"The shikara’s prow touches the garden’s hem."

Sat, 01 Jun 2013 17:09:40 -0400

“The shikara’s prow touches the garden’s hem.”

- Salman Rushdie in Midnight’s Children

"Truman Capote spoke to us in front of the library. Microphones had been set up in the audience so..."

Wed, 07 Mar 2012 14:18:00 -0500

“

Truman Capote spoke to us in front of the library. Microphones had been set up in the audience so students could ask him questions. The first question, from a kid with a distinctly Southern husky voice, was, “Are you a homosexual?”

Capote paused, and then in his tinny fey voice said, “Is that a proposition?”

Four hundred gay-hating white kids went insane laughing. I thought, Whatever that is, I want that.

”

- Darrell Hammond, in ‘God, If You’re Not Up There, I’m F*cked’

"You haven’t really lived until you’ve had karaoke night in a psychiatric hospital."

Wed, 07 Mar 2012 14:05:00 -0500

“You haven’t really lived until you’ve had karaoke night in a psychiatric hospital.”

- Darrell Hammond, in ‘God, If You’re Not Up There, I’m F*cked’

Rescuers

Wed, 29 Feb 2012 15:07:00 -0500

I have to say that the one guy in the team who doesn’t get enough recognition is the winchman. You’ve got the pilot, who’s just unbelievable, and the frogman who is outright mad, and then there’s the winchman who is the integral part of the whole situation. He’s the eyes and ears of the chopper pilot. Things were obviously going well because after there were four of us on the chopper I heard the pilot say, ‘These guys are good. Everything’s going well. We’re going to get them all.’ I had a big surge of relief - it was a fantastic feeling.

Sailor from the yacht Business Post Naiad speaking about his rescue during the 1998 Sydney to Hobart race, taken from Rob Mundle’s book Fatal Storm, International Marine/McGraw-Hill, 1999.

(Firsthand) Observations on Aging

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 14:51:47 -0500

Amount of support I now require in a bra: Massive

Photo

Sat, 24 Dec 2011 00:24:13 -0500

allisondoesstuff: Allison is a bit reluctant to touch God.

Sat, 24 Dec 2011 00:20:08 -0500

allisondoesstuff:

Allison is a bit reluctant to touch God.

allisondoesstuff: Allison floats through the universe, admiring...

Sat, 24 Dec 2011 00:18:50 -0500

allisondoesstuff:

Allison floats through the universe, admiring the view.

Allison the Derp Spaz Does Stuff

Sat, 24 Dec 2011 00:07:00 -0500

Allison the Derp Spaz Does Stuff

Crazy Life

Sat, 17 Dec 2011 13:05:38 -0500

It’s Saturday morning. What’s on my list? Go upstairs and get some hangers for clothes in the dryer, move the towels out of the washer, stick in another load, walk the dog (she’s yapping to go out), make coffee, vacuum, edit my daughter’s college app essays, find photos of her for a yearbook ad, and print out the Christmas card mailing labels. Ho, ho, ho! It’s Christmastime. Oh, buy some songs on iTunes, work out? That would feel good. Clean off the kitchen table. Run the dishwasher. Update my Survivor blog before the finale on Sunday.

Survivor: South Pacific • Episode 11

Sat, 26 Nov 2011 13:12:26 -0500

This episode doesn’t take us any further in the game, but it shows more scenes from the season thus far. Interesting to see my observations confirmed by the players. Ozzy definitely sees himself as an outstanding survivor who can stand on his own. He is not a leader, really, because he does not care about his team. They get along because they are well fed, and most of the people on Savaii are laid back (except for Jim, Cochran, and Dawn).

Coach’s team is more like a family, and they take care of each other, but as we’ve seen in other Survivor seasons, a huge no-no is to take too much of the common food. Mikayla probably wasn’t even aware she was taking too much sugar. Maybe two heaping teaspoons of the stuff is her regular habit back Stateside. You have to be able to get outside of yourself in Survivor, to perceive things the way others do, to have some sense of what is really going on, and that must be a great challenge when you are hungry and sleep-deprived.

Keith and Whitney illustrate this as they muse that no one knows they are close, when being close is what they have shown everyone. They say this as they swing cozily together in a hammock! Clue Less. When Whitney got so mad that Keith was voted out, she should have smacked herself in the forehead and said, “Omigod, what was I thinking and how could we have been so stupid to hang together around everyone, and I really was pretty inconsiderate of Cochran.” Duh. Duh. Duh.

Upolu’s members were very concerned about loose cannon Brandon, and well aware of his youth and inability to handle pressure. They don’t seem to hate him, they know he’s troubled and want to figure out the best way to handle it, although some of them think he should be dispensed with sooner rather than later. Albert and Sophie can’t agree on the right time to make a change-up. That is always so tricky. Sophie’s concern is valid. Make a big move too early, and you are doomed. Coach manages the situation well, I think, and the longer the season goes the more I respect his play. Maybe he is worthy. If Coach and Ozzy make it to the end, who would win? Would Coach get more votes? Tough to say.

Survivor: South Pacific • Episode 10

Tue, 22 Nov 2011 13:22:00 -0500

All of Te Tuna gets to observe at RI. A tough challenge - and TWO will be out and on the jury. Ozzy is calm and collected, and stays in the game. Jim and Keith are now on the jury. If Ozzy makes it to the end, he may win, although Coach’s game has been good. Cochran made a lot of enemies - bitter ones.

When we see Ozzy in paradise back at RI, you can still feel he leans to the arrogant side. He is an incredibly good physical player, but I don’t know if he is aware how he comes off. It can hurt him. When you play like that, you have to win always. Every time.

The rice bowl challenge is an interesting one because it calls on a set of skills that doesn’t favor brawn necessarily. Sophie wins the necklace. Dawn, Whitney and Cochran look glum. Jeff announces there will be a twist at TC.

Coach uses fear to keep Albert and Sophie in line. The vote will be for either Dawn or Whitney. Dawn and Whitney talk to Albert and try to convince him to vote out Edna or Sophie. Albert thinks about it. But why would you want to vote out Edna? She has no power and wouldn’t garner many votes for the million bucks. Don’t you want to take her with you?? Why not target Coach when you have the chance? Or is it because he may control the immunity idol? But they could blindside him since he wouldn’t think they’d do it now. Get him out and it would be a whole new game. If he goes to the end, you’re in trouble.

Dawn gets voted out.

Now the Twist: another Immunity Challenge with vote to follow. I love it - the Survivor Questions and the Answer Cube.

I can’t believe somebody didn’t know you have to drink a gallon of water a day!

Coach out on “heart of palm.”

False on clams. Sophie wins. Yeah Whitney, that’s for makin’ fun of smarties. Bye Bye Whit.

Now, if something doesn’t switch up, Cochran will go home next, ‘cuz we’ve never seen him win immunity. Will Albert or Sophie make a move?

Survivor: South Pacific • Episode 9

Tue, 22 Nov 2011 12:52:14 -0500

The aftermath of Cochran going over to Upolu and helping oust Keith: the remaining Savaii members are blindsided and furious. It’s interesting seeing the reaction of the people who had all the power in Savaii - Jim saying of Cochran “We gave him everything he wanted. He wanted to be a double agent.” Well, what do double agents do? Duh!

But those in power at the top of the heap forget something, or they don’t perceive it to begin with: How you treat a person matters, and people in power don’t understand what it’s like to be on the outs, because they are alphas and have almost always been alphas. They lack empathy and they think outcasts should be happy merely for being tolerated. Jim thinks that because he “saved” Cochran, Cochran owes him. Jim says to Cochran, “I really don’t like you.” Hey Jim, I’ve known that all along from your behavior and demeanor. Duh again.

Ozzy has to ASK Cochran if he made him feel small — this seems clueless to me.

Jim wins immunity at the challenge, so it’s gonna be Ozzy, Dawn or Whitney voted out. Now I am surprised to hear Jim volunteer to give Ozzy his immunity necklace. That is a gesture I wouldn’t have expected of him. Jim makes a plea to Upolu at Tribal Council to vote out Cochran for his disloyalty. He also keeps the necklace and forgoes giving it to Ozzy. Oh yeah, Mr. Honor.

Ozzy goes off to RI again, to catch fish and eat it with Keith.

The next day’s challenge offers a choice to compete for immunity, or sit out and stuff yer face, which Cochran and the members of Upolu opt for. Jim, Dawn and Whitney go for the necklace. Whitney gets it. So Dawn and Jim are vulnerable.

Jim tries to get Sophie and Albert to consider voting out Edna, instead of him or Dawn. But Albert knows how dangerous Dawn is because she’s so likable and is being welcomed by Upolu folks. Sophie would rather get rid of Jim. Coach sees Dawn as a serpent and Jim as a rhino - “both can kill you”.

At T.C., Brandon opens up again about Savaii’s treatment of Cochran, and Whitney feels vilified. Based on what I’ve seen in the shows, no one on Savaii but Dawn was nice to Cochran, but I don’t know if that was true for Whitney. Jim is voted off and heads to RI.

Survivor: South Pacific • Episode 8

Mon, 21 Nov 2011 18:36:00 -0500

So Ozzy’s voted out. I hate to see him lose his gambit, but I still am rooting for Christine. I just love her spirit.

Ah F**k!! I hate to see Christine out of the game. She doesn’t even get to be on the stinkin’ jury.

So The Merge happens. New buffs. New name: Te Tuna. Say whaaat?

A devious plan by former Savaii. Does Upolu bite? Nah. Coach says his team is unbudging and they know they are being played. Cochran comes clean with Upolu, who he feels he can trust. He also plays fair with Ozzy to whom he returns the idol. Dawn confides in Cochran, breaks down. In the Immunity Challenge, with one winner per gender, Ozzy wins guys’ and Dawn wins gals’.

God this season of Survivor is interesting!

Dawn waffles - she’s not sure she wants to go against Savaii with Cochran. Brandon manages to keep his mouth shut. Ozzy plays the idol for Whitney. The vote comes down to Keith vs. Rick. Cochran defects to Upolu; Keith the aloof asshole goes to R.I. and Jim the condescending asshole calls Cochran a Coward. On that I disagree, Cochran just incurred massive shit. It was a brave, wild move, but it doesn’t win him any votes, not from Savaii, at the final Tribal Council were he to make it there.

Nanowrimo - Day 1

Tue, 01 Nov 2011 19:26:00 -0400

Every November for the past 3 years I’ve started doing Nanowrimo, and then petered out before the end. What is Nanowrimo you ask? National Novel Writing Month, and it’s always in November. If you are the kind of person who likes to write, you probably already know this. If you don’t already know about Nanowrimo, most likely the thought of writing 50,000 words in a month doesn’t appeal to you. But here’s the link if you care: www.nanowrimo.org.

I can’t remember if I fade at the same time each year. This November, I’m going to track my progress here and see when it happens. I predict that I will give up exhausted for words (or time or some other lame excuse) sometime around Thanksgiving. Ha. Most people who know me would never guess that I could ever run out of words. If you can speak, you can write, and I can usually speak many, many words. Sometimes I don’t shut up. So here I go with Nanowrimo 2011, Day 1.

Daily goal: 1666 words

10:17 p.m. - My Day 1 tally: 1815 words

Oh, it always starts this way…doesn’t seem too hard, does it?

Just wait.

Phat Jack transformation

Mon, 31 Oct 2011 21:37:23 -0400

Phat Jack transformation

Survivor: South Pacific • Episode 7

Thu, 27 Oct 2011 18:42:00 -0400

OK, this episode was a doozy. Just kinda strange. It opened with Upolu folks returning from the last Tribal Council, and a number of them were concerned about Brandon’s systematic T.C. meltdowns…what will happen after the merge if Brandon continues these?

Redemption Island - Cochran & Ozzy are there for Savaii; Albert & Sophie observe for Upolu. It’s Christine vs. Mikayla this time. The bridge-building and puzzle-making are close, close, CLOSE! And Christine pulls it out and stays alive, AGAIN!! She corrects Jeff, saying, “I’ve always been a legitimate force!” You go Christine!

Ozzy rambles on about Christine going with Upolu at the merge and thinks she needs to get knocked out at R.I. Huh? Doesn’t he know she won’t go with her old tribe? Or is he afraid of her chances at winning the whole game? What kind of big move is he referring to - sending himself to R.I.? He says he wants to send someone who we know can beat her. And he’ll volunteer himself. Is that arrogance or what?

So everyone seems to be aware that the MERGE IS COMING. Desperate to see a day or two more in the game, Cochran likes Ozzy’s plan about sending himself to R.I. if they lose the Immunity Challenge.

Back at Upolu - Coach is in the water, doing tai chi or whatever. “I am not worthy, I am not worthy.” Oh jeesh. I’m gonna lose my dinner watching this. And next, we see him implementing his plan to create a big happy family of a tribe by communal praying to God with a lie and deceit about searching for the (already-found-and-in-Coach’s-possession) immunity idol. What a mind-fuck! It is sooooo manipulative, so devious…and all the more so because it’s wrapped in this laid-back quasi-benevolence. Brandon trusts Coach and is deceived so easily. I hate to say it, but I’m feeling sorry for this kid now.

Coach does share the idol, though. I’m curious how this will go. Who will control how the idol is used? But Coach, you were right, you are not worthy.

Immunity Challenge - Coach & Rick call for Upolu; Jim & Cochran call for Savaii. It’s a water course with blindfolded teams of two on rope lines, going out and back to retrieve masks that then have to be matched correctly. Savaii was in a good position to win until their lines got all tangled. It’s really bad, and they lose to Upolu bigtime. Ozzy’s pissed, again. Was it Cochran’s fault? He admits, “I blew the challenge.”

Meanwhile, Coach has another prayer & praise session with Upolu, “in Jesus’s name,” oh please, no, PLEASE tell me that Jesus in His infinite wisdom is NOT invested in the game of Survivor and is not devoting His time and energy to Coach, especially when there are starving, AIDS-infected kids in the world, along with wars, hurricanes, earthquakes, famine, tyranny and other pestilences. This is crazy. But am I gonna turn it off? No.

At Savaii - So Cochran has been relegated to a “new level of ostracism.” The tribe openly faces the question of who should go to R.I. Most everybody on Savaii wants Cochran to go. They tell him, “It’s your chance for true redemption,” thinking you sure in hell need to redeem yourself after that mess of a challenge. So it’s decided. But Ozzy dreams in the night, changes his mind, and wants to go to R.I. Cochran is thrilled. The tribe is not agreed, however. What if the merge doesn’t happen and they have to face another I.C. without Ozzy? F-A-I-L.

All of this is calmly and rationally explained to Jeff at Tribal Council. Says Cochran breathlessly to the camera, “22 Seasons and nothing like this!”

Ozzy’s voted out. Cochran’s sorry cute little ass is saved, yet again.

Ozzy: is he insane? Stupid or Iconic? If he beats Christine, I’m gonna be pissed.

Photo

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 10:20:43 -0400

Rats used for “demining.” Aren’t they cute? ...

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 23:39:00 -0400

He looks good in plaid.

Rats used for “demining.” Aren’t they cute? The one on the left looks so good in plaid.

Amazing rats trained to sniff out landmines without detonating...

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 23:26:45 -0400

Amazing rats trained to sniff out landmines without detonating them!